Category: EDDIE IS AWESOME


YES Adele I AM allergic to commas. If you keep criticizing your transcribing person you won’t have one anymore.

Anyway. This is super boring so I’m just gonna sum up the rest of the recording. Adele went to the bathroom to try to take care of it herself because shes an idiot. And she started feeling faint and went and laid down on the couch and moaned. She was calling for her mother but she doesn’t remember that but she totally was I was there and I know. Our parents came out and took care of her and everything. She was worried because she didn’t want Dad to be mad at Baxter because he hadn’t wanted to have a rat in the house to begin with but they wanted to be her foster parents so they took him too. She doesn’t understand why Mom and Dad wanted to be her foster parents but they did. So she made this recording because she wanted to tell someone what was going on or whatever.

Seriusly Adele if you don’t show Dad your hand I will. It looks bad and that hydrogen stuff your using isn’t helping at all.

And we wanted to be your foster family because your a good person and you deserve a chance. I know you don’t believe it but its true. If you want to delete this post you’ll have to get your hand better so you can come on and fix it. I’m gonna post embarassing stuff here if you don’t. I saw you type your password and I know what it is now. I’m hiding your computer until you get your hand fixed. Its kinda gross now.

Um gotta think of more embarassing stuff. Hey guys you know what else Adele likes? David Bowie. Yeah. Her email address is takeadele@gmail.com if you want to write and tell her to get her hand fixed too.

Get your hand taken care of Adele for real.

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Hey guys this is Eddie. Adele logged me in to transcribe her thingy. Her rat tale I’m calling it. Hahaha! I crack myself up.

Hey Adele next time you record something don’t play youtube clips or whatever while you do it. The mike didn’t pick it up real good but its still annoying. And don’t run a fan right next to you or whatever you did. For real that needs to stop.

Oh its on. Hello little blog. My hand really hurts. Kind of swollen it got all swollen. My fingers won’t touch. My index finger and my thumb. The doctor saw it yesterday and I’m fine I don’t need stitches I didn’t need stitches and I got a tetanus shot and all that. But it started swelling up today and I don’t want my new parents to see it. I don’t want anyone to see it. Because. And its not because I’m stoic. This fucking hurts. Its just. It would make my new dad even more mad than he already was and I don’t want him to be more mad because… I’m gonna have to start over.

Okay I gathered my thoughts so to speak. Its really clumsy using my left hand for everything. Anyway it happened Sunday night in the middle of the night. I heard… I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a rat scream? But its really awful its a really awful sound. And I mean you know rats squeak mice they squeak but when they squeak its because there in pain or there afraid or there in danger its a warning thing. A lot of times Baxter makes little you know chirping noises. He grinds his teeth together its called bruxing. He makes all kinds of little noises.

But I’ve never heard him scream before. STUPID LOUD FAN NOISE. And I stumbled over to his cage and I was sort of just half awake and I knew that something was going on and he just sounded so scared. And I heard his tail rattling its what rats do when there about to attack something. And and half asleep I just thought theres another rat in there that got there in the cage. And it was so stupid. I stuck my hand in there and and Baxter bit me. He bit me on the kind of the web of flesh between your index finger and your thumb and he bit me really hard and really deep.

And rats when they bite they like you know how they have fangs they kind of separate the bottom two fangs and drive those deep in and kind of tear with there top fangs. And I know he didn’t mean to do it. It was totally an accident. Baxter has never bit me ever. He’s the tamest, sweetest little rat you ever saw. But well I stumbled away. I kind of had to shake him off which ripped it even more. And I went to turn on the light and theres blood welling up and dripping on the floor.

This is taking for fucking ever so I’m gonna come back later. But seriously Adele you should just show Dad your hand. He won’t be mad. Well maybe a little. But he’s not gonna get rid of Baxter.

I picked all the categories for this just cuz. You can fix it later.